This is the type of shit they write Bibles about. Wildfire, pandemic, murder hornets, lynchings, protests, riots, and who knows what is next. The scale and drama of these events are so large that it is easy to imagine some ancient scribe breaking out the quill or chisel and writing about the year that God decided to smite the people. And this pious writer wouldn’t have to look very far for reasons that God would see fit to smite us. There’s greed, environmental destruction, racism, the propping up of a hateful king, and surely countless other no-no’s.

Now, to be clear, I’m not saying that this is all God’s work. I’m just pointing out how easily a religious mind could turn to thinking that this is the next installment in the good book—The Newer Testament: Return of the Old Testament.

By the way, who would be the savior-figure in the newer testament? My guess is that it would be an athlete. These are the only people we speak so hyperbolically about that future generations misinterpreting the text would think that they committed actual miracles. Just think about how many times people have written or spoken about Michael Jordan ‘flying,’ or ‘walking on air,’ or ‘being suspended in air.’ There’s even a very on-the-nose quote ready for biblical publication in which Larry Bird, commenting on a great game that Michael had, says “That wasn’t Michael Jordan out there, that was God disguised as Michael Jordan.”

Anyway, I digress. The point is that I wouldn’t fault anyone for feeling like this is a biblical moment we’re living through. However the danger of that line of thinking is that it could lead to a sense of resignation. This is certainly not true for all religious people, but thinking that it is in God’s hands could lead you to think that it is out of your hands. And that is most certainly not true.

The truth is, you can change things. This truth is both a comfort and a pain. It’s a pain because it implies responsibility (yuck). It is harder to live with the knowledge that you can change things, because it means that if you see an injustice in the world that stirs your heart, you should do something about it.

And hey, I’ll be the first to admit that doing something is harder than not doing something. Frankly, I’m a huge fan of just sitting on the couch. I love the couch!

However, while it may be easier to not do anything, it most certainly is not better. Any momentary comfort you derive from resting your buns on your comfy couch, will give way to internal strife if you aren’t actually helping a cause you claim to care about.

And now let me point out the uncomfortable truth that I’m using the pronoun “you,” when I should be using “I.” When I’m talking about people caring about causes, and not doing anything about it, I’m talking often about my own behavior. Because there’s a good chance that you who are reading this have done a whole lot more than me in these past few weeks to help fight racism (internally and externally) and end the tragically frequent occurrence of police killing black people.

This is of course the cause that anyone with a heart, brain, and access to the internet currently cares about more than anything else. There’s very clearly a moment happening now, born out of righteous backlash against too many disgusting atrocities, that has the power to change our society for the better. But it will only actually change if we continuously choose to take action to change it. So how do we change it?

Well, that question is pretty much something I typed into Google. And as I’ve heard from a blunt and truthful commentator, this is basically a moment for “white people to shut the fuck up and listen.”

So in the spirit of shutting the fuck up and listening, here are some resources/people/causes I’ve found useful and enlightening:





I called Bill De Blasio’s office today to urge him to enact the 8 that can’t wait in the link above and was both delighted and dismayed to find his voice-mailbox full (I sent an email instead). But well after the protests die down, and the hashtags stop trending, and Billy De-B’s answering machine clears up, there will certainly still be work to do. To me, this moment is an opportunity and an inspiration to build my civic muscles. I’ve long known that I can call or write my elected officials, but I’ve rarely done it. Again, it’s easier not to.

As you may know, I like to use this blog to commit myself to certain ridiculous resolutions (see: record a song a week for an entire year). And that’s exactly what I’m going to do now.

From this today until the end of the year (and hopefully beyond) I promise to contact an elected official at least once every week and urge them to support or oppose something I care about. We put these people in office, and if you believe in democracy, you have to believe that they will listen to our voices. Don’t give in to apathy or cynicism friends. Go do something.

Like nearly everyone else on the internet, I distracted myself from the still-growing pandemic this week by watching the incredibly entertaining and surreal documentary-series Tiger King. Like the charismatic star of the show, Joe Exotic, the story is a train wreck of ego, obscenity, and shamelessness that leaves you laughing and disgusted at the same time.

If you somehow haven’t heard of this show, I’m not going to summarize it for you. Instead I will give you almost everything you need in an introduction by showing you some pictures of Joe Exotic, every single one of which is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life:

Now I’m normally not one to advocate judging a book by its cover, but in this case it is entirely appropriate because the people presented in this documentary are anything but subtle. They constantly say the quiet part loud, film themselves committing crimes, and tattoo their identities on their loins.

In fact, these are people who are hell-bent on using outrageous external means to locate and project their inner selves. Here’s a quick-fire list of some more of those methods:

  1. Collecting and breeding hundreds of tigers.
  2. Talking in detail about your penis piercing when no one asked.
  3. Running a tiger-themed sex cult.
  4. Purchasing gratuitous amounts of firearms.
  5. Renting a mansion so people will think you’re rich.
  6. Calling yourself Bhagavan when your real name is Kevin.
  7. Decorating your entire home from floor to ceiling with tiger print (we get it, you like tigers).
  8. Recording lip-synched country music videos about petting tigers (we get it, you like tigers).
  9. Having both a soul-patch and ponytail (we get it, you like tigers).
  10. Running for president.

These are just some of the many colorful ways the main characters in the series attempt to fill the deep void in their hearts. The documentary does in fact explore some tragic and formative moments in the lives of both Joe Exotic and his bitter enemy Carole Baskin. I would wager that the other main characters in the documentary also have some personal trauma in their past. These people who are constantly bickering, suing, and attempting to kill each other, have more in common than they’d like to admit. They’re all trying to cover up their pain and insecurity with tigers (… or jet skis). 

But why tigers?

Because tigers are naturals at being everything that they feel that they are not—naturally powerful, beautiful, graceful, and dangerous. By owning them or associating with them, this ridiculous cast of criminal misfits think that they can harness some of that power. But here’s a tip for anyone thinking of buying a tiger: you won’t be gaining any power, you’ll only be robbing a tiger of it, and your inner void will remain. 

Now, it is easy to sit back watch this documentary from the comfort of your couch and think, “wow, these people are absolutely insane.” That is in fact essentially what I am doing right now.  Yet I want to point out that we all have a little Joe, or Bhagavan, or Carole inside of us.

Because who among us has not fantasized about owning exotic animals, joining a sex cult, or embarking on a country music career? Who among us!?

But the next time you start chasing one of those dreams, why not first stop and ask why? What’s that special void you’re trying to fill?

Perhaps it would be better to just watch a documentary, talk to a therapist, or write a song.

Not to brag or anything, but here is the music I wrote this week instead of buying animals on the deep web or joining any cults. Special thank you to my friend Brad Birge for laying down the tasty bass you hear on this track.

New Moon II — March 29, 2020